According to the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, it is the very nature of man to always want to inflict his will upon others. Every action toward another stems from a deep-down desire to bring that person under one's power. Whether a person is giving gifts, lavishing praise, physically dominating, or providing a meal, the motive is the same: to exert one's will over others.
If you’ve ever tried to get a five year old to eat, you’ll suspect that she has somehow found her way into the attic and has been secretly reading your Philosophy 101 textbooks. Food is, unfortunately, the training ground for the will to power. The infant’s first taste of power is when she realizes that no one can force her to eat, a power she soon perfects to an art. SHE has the power to eat or not eat, to inflict misery on her parents or not. On the battleground of food, SHE is the general, her orders will be obeyed.
My father and I had a daily ritual. Every morning he set a bowl of oatmeal in front of me for breakfast and insisted I eat it before I leave the table. I never touched it. Not once. To me it was a vile, glutinous glob that looked suspiciously like the wheat paste we used to hang wallpaper. I stared at the bowl grumpily until my father left for work. If my mother hadn’t relented—handing me a slice of toast as I ran for the school bus—I’d still be sitting there.
Who has not at some point been reduced to tears by a stubborn child? Nothing seems to work—ordering your little Nietzsche to clean her plate, threatening to send her to her room without supper, chasing her around the house with little bowls of macaroni and cheese, pleading, begging—won’t you take a little bite for Mommy? Are you kidding? And give in? No way! Threatening, bargaining, coaxing, bribing. These do not work. The existential power struggle must be vaporized.
Childhood nutrition expert Ellyn Satter has a simple solution: détente. Divide the power. "The parent is responsible for what, when, and where [a child should eat]. The child is responsible for how much and whether." Parents choose the food and offer it at a specific time, at a specific place. The child may decide whether or not she will eat, and how much she will eat (you can’t fight that anyhow).
In other words, present the food and ignore them. Relax and pour yourself a glass of Mad Housewife. Enjoy your meal.
That said, détente, according to Satter, enjoys some rules:
-Children should eat at mealtimes with other members of the family, and during scheduled snack times only.
-Fluids, including fruit juices, should be restricted to water at all other times.
-Pets, television, and other distractions should not be allowed at the dinner table.
Don’t worry so much. Every meal doesn’t have to be balanced. As long as there is some protein, fruit, vegetables, dairy, and grains eaten during the day, the child will be healthy.
Yet despite your best efforts, your little Nietzsche will go on food "jags" where she will seemingly eat only one food. She will want her food displayed separately, not combined or "touching"—food apartheid. She will be slow to try new things. Present seductive and beautiful food. If you make food fun and present several choices, and the rest of the family eats with enthusiasm, she will be more adventurous.
And don’t forget the oldest of military deceptions, the Trojan horse.
-muffins with grated or pureed zucchini or carrots
-pureed vegetables hidden in tomato sauce for pasta
-the smoothie with vegetables as well as fruit
-mashed potatoes with zucchini, broccoli, or carrots
-pureed vegetable soups, tomato, pea, or pumpkin. with popcorn for croutons
Another way to entice finicky eaters is to get them involved in the food preparation and in raising vegetables. If you’re sly, like my mother was, you’ll soon have them making dinner for you when you come home from work. All you’ll have to do is open a bottle of Mad Housewife wine.
Now wouldn’t that be nice.
Cheese Cones with Peas
Most kids will eat cheese and peas. Put them together in a fun cheesy cone and they might be willing to try other vegetables, too. The salad and Mad Housewife Chardonnay are for Mom.
2 cups fresh or frozen peas
2 tablespoons olive oil
salt and pepper
4 ounces grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese
1. Rub a microwave-safe dinner-size plate with olive oil. Place two teaspoons of cheese in the center of the plate. Place a
2. Place cheese into the microwave for 20 seconds. Remove and carefully roll into a cone while still warm (be careful not to burn your fingers). Repeat, making one cone at a time until the cheese is used up.
3. Place thawed peas in a bowl. Add two tablespoons water, olive oil, salt, and pepper. (You don’t need much salt because of the cheese.) Cover with a plate. Microwave for 1 minute.
4. Blend peas in a food processor, or mash by hand. Fill each cone with pea puree.
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